Tactics of Play

Today is our first snow day of the 2014-2015 school year. Unfortunately, while there might be enough snow on the ground to make the roads slick, it isn't enough to sled in. It's also very cold outside. The only alternative for a mom at home with two bored kids is to join ranks. Otherwise, I might be whined to death or blown over by excessive and heavy sighs.

To offset this I proclaimed today a PJ day and took on my kids in open nerf warfare. Maybe this isn't the most psychologically sound maneuver, but it kept them from fighting for a little while. It also gave my daughter an outlet for her bossiness, because I asked her to take pictures of the event. This took time. Apparently, my pose above wasn't enough, she had to set up a scene herself. Which resulted in this other picture below.

She felt letting people see my enemy's empty gun with bullets scattered around my crazy fuzzy socks looked more intense.

I was surprised it took my son so long to join in the battle. He was too preoccupied with the games on his tablet. But we shot at him enough that he eventually succumbed to our game.

I admit that all of this goofing around with my kids isn't productive. It's after lunchtime already and this is the first writing I've gotten done all day. But while it's important for me to get some work accomplished it's more important to teach my kids that there is more fun to be had with imaginative play than there is in watching TV or playing with their favorite electronic device.

As I gather up ideas for the holiday season and what they want this year, I'm happy to see that the list is still topped with toys. Of course, both of them decided today that they needed to add fuzzy socks to their wish lists. I guess mine generated sock envy. Anyhow, I hope that this trend of wanting to play and have fun continues a little longer. No matter how much fun I have with them now, playing as an adult isn't the same as doing it when you're a kid. But the most important thing I can teach them on days like this, is that interacting with people, especially people they love, is time that is irreplaceable. If they can carry that idea with them into adulthood maybe they will leave this world and the people they touched along the way a little happier. Nothing can take the place of giving other's our time. Not all the toys in the world.

Happy Veteran's Day!

Today's blog post is going to be short and sweet. Not because this one day of the year isn't important, but because I'd rather we spend today honoring our veteran's by giving them our time and attention face-to-face or by talking to them over the phone and personally thanking them for their sacrifice. I would also say it is equally as important to thank the families of all the veterans past and present. Without their sacrifice and unconditional loyalty to our service men and women we wouldn't have the heroes we do who are willing to sacrifice everything for their country.

I will say that I am very proud to be the daughter and granddaughter of two brave veterans, who like many of our service men and women are and were unassuming and uncomfortable being labeled heroes. My Grandad served in the navy during WWII in underwater demolitions, which was the precursor to today's navy seals. He then went on to fight again as a soldier in the U.S. Army during the Korean War. My dad served in Operation Desert Storm the first time around and was with a supply unit that supported the 1st Infantry when they went into Iraq and drove Saddam Hussein out of Kuwait. So, I know first hand how difficult it is to be the family member of deployed service people. Today I thank all the men and women who continue to serve our country and my thanks and prayers go out to the families who are waiting or are learning to live without a loved one because they didn't make it back home. I also admire you all for your strength and perseverance in learning how to go on with life when you face a new normal because you or your loved one have come home injured or disabled while serving. I have cousins who serve today and I pray all the time for their safety as they fulfill their promise to serve and protect.

So, take some time today to pray for those who've gone before and who fight today for our freedom. Let them know how proud you are to call them your fellow countrymen. And pray for them and their families.

And Grandad, I hope you're having a blast up there today in heaven chewing the fat with the cronies, you served with, reminiscing about old times. I'm sure my grandmother is up there right now too beaming with pride.

The Parallel Universes of Parenting and Writing

So far, I've been doing a good job of keeping up with my NaNo word count. I've also been working diligently at submitting one of my novels around to literary agents in the hopes of finding representation and eventually publication of my work.

As I've been doing both I've come to realize that my life as a writer and my life as a parent often run parallel to each other. The journey of creating a novel or story and finding someone to publish said work is very similar to becoming a parent and raising children.

At the beginning of either journey you are swept up by the adventure having a baby or creating a new world or new piece of writing entails. It is a moment that is often euphoric. You love this new creation. You eagerly await the moment it becomes a full fledged reality and the baby is born, or the first draft of your writing is complete. Often, the waiting time for both is exhausting, sometimes frustrating, and near the end you can become right down crabby thinking you will never get to the end of the gestation period. After the labor pains are over you are worn out, but jubilant. You've done it! You have the proof of it in your arms or in some cases typed out on your computer. In either case, you can show people that you've succeeded at giving birth! Hooray for you!

Then the real work sets in. Raising that baby or story up into adulthood. Like most parents come to realize the pregnancy and birth were the easier parts. The caring and raising of children is the most challenging and rewarding role a person can take on. It isn't for the faint of heart, either. As precious as those babies are, they eventually grow up and starting talking and thinking for themselves and that my friends is were the adventure truly lies. I've often heard it said that revising a story is were real writing begins, too. You suddenly realize that your written words you struggled so hard to get out onto the page aren't always as clean and wonderful as you thought. Like messy diapers some of them just stink, and in order for that story to grow up into the best story it can be you have to be willing to roll up your sleeves and start cleaning it up. This process can be as much fun as potty training a toddler or wrestling an overtired youngster into the bath and their PJs so they can go to bed.

Finally, the day arrives when your child begins the process of making they way in the world. For your children this often starts with kindergarten. For the first time they will be in a setting without you where they will be judged and graded on their performance. It's a whole new world from daycare or preschool. Those were only a taste of what school is going to be like. You worry that they will make friends and be treated well by their peers. So too, do you worry about your writing when you have to start sending it out into the world to be critiqued and read by others. Will those other people who haven't known it since its birth like your work. Will they be kind with it. Will they be able to see its unique worth and merit. Or will it come home bruised and red because the other writers or the beta readers found it lacking in some way. Often, just like a child's experience at school there are good moments and there are bad ones. Some days you will go to parent teacher conferences and hear nothing but good things about how your child is doing. Other times you will wonder what you can do to help your child because they are struggling and unhappy in their classroom or school situation. Letting others critique your writing can make you question parts of your work and what to do about it in the same way. Sometimes you'll get your chapter or story back with mostly positive comments about it and sometimes you get it back and it has lines and lines of editorial comments written in the margins. Whole paragraphs might be crossed out that the critiquer/reader didn't like or understand.

But these times though difficult are only the elementary years. Things really get rocky when you enter the teen years. If you are part of a critique group or other writing community of people you know and trust, you also know that they want only the best for you and your work. You are part of a tribe, there to support each other. Then adolescence hits and it is every person for themselves and woe to the one who doesn't fit in or conform to what others expect. Like your teenage child, your story must navigate these murky waters in order to get to be a finished, publishable product. This is the hardest and most excruciating process for you and your writing. You must query strangers and hope they respond positively to that query and ask to see your work. When they do it is a happy dance worthy moment. Just like it is when your teen achieves a longed for spot on a sports team, or gets that solo they auditioned for, or helps their academic team win a meet against a rival school. You get the idea. They come home happy and ebullient and you are proud and happy for them. But this is the part of the parenting or writing journey where you have to develop a thick skin. Because despite how well you and your child have gotten along before, when the teen years come things can turn on a dime. One moment your child can be happy and willing to talk to you like a rational human being and five minutes later they can give you death looks and be completely unresponsive when you ask them a question. This can be the way it is when you start seeking publication for your writing. Some queries will meet with a favorable response while others will meet with no response at all, which if you've done your research into the places you've queried often means NOT INTERESTED. And like your adolescent child one week they may be getting along fine with all their peers and you breath a sigh of relief thinking their middle school and high school journey is going to be much smoother and less painful than yours was then WHAMMO! Suddenly, they've gotten into a fight with their best friend and all the other kids in their class now hate them and you're left picking up the pieces of your child's battered ego. Getting a positive response on a query and being asked to submit your manuscript for review can feel the same way. You think, maybe I'm finally good enough and truly on my way now. Then you get a polite email or letter back from the person who seemed interested saying that they're sorry but they just can't see this being something they could get publishers interested in or in the case of an editor it just wasn't strong enough for them to invest in for publication. In cases like this you are left picking up your own bruised and battered ego and bolstering it back up.

Nevertheless, if you keep at it long enough and work hard enough your child eventually will be grown up and independent. So, too, will your writing if you are tenacious enough. It is what all of us hope to achieve as both parents and as writers. That our children like our written words will at some point be able to have a life all their own and hopefully come to be loved and cherished for who they've grown to become.